I love Manca — Timid Lambda

I want to spend all possible time with her
I always feel happy and without a worry when we're together – and optimistic about our potential future
When she's gone I get jealous and anxious. When she leaves I feel unloved and scared
The image of her in the park in front of our house made me feel nauseous, as if my heart fell into my stomach – and when she was talking to the guy at 301 and didn't loop me in it gave me a little nervous breakdown
I hyperfocus on the distance between us, her little movements and gestures, her face and body, when we lay close by each other, e.g. on our couch watching movies, when we're sharing the ritual of brushing our teeth, laying in the grass after getting ice-creams, or reading the Japanese book together on the couch on the balcony under the same blanket, moving closer together, feeling each other's bodies and warmth, but not skin
I have this vague but romantic dream of us settling down together, living in some farm in Slovenia, with a child and a dog, and dried flowers and other beautiful things throughout the house
She fascinates me with her mind, she's super smart, in some kind of aloof, playful, but also anxious, way. She is super determined in what she wants, and very discriminate in her interests
I'm struck by her laugh and physical presence