Someone else

Yesterday, something weird happened. I had just come out of a two hour long and dragging meeting, and walked to the kitchen to get something to eat or drink. On the way I jokingly said "kill me now", hoping that Manca would be in her room and possibly laugh or smth, but there was no response.

Then, in the kitchen, looking out at the park in front of our house, there were two people, lovers, lying on a blanket. The girl, who I couldn't entirely see, was wearing white and had dark brown hair. This is Manca, I thought, and I started to fysically feel sick and tense in my stomach, just like they say it happens. It quite literally felt like my stomach dropped 20 centimeters down, and I didn't know how to process the feeling.

I pondered, who is the guy? Is is Tip? Maybe it's not even that romantic, it's just cozy? Or someone else she just started dating and didn't tell me about to protect my feelings? And then: why would she do this in the park outside of our house? It's so hurtful to me, surely she would understand that and rather have moved to another park close by?

And then I realized, maybe it's not even actually Manca, and I grew hopeful. I had to come up with some justification for knocking on her door, just to see whether she's home. So that's what I did. She was home, it was someone else. We went to the FEBO to get an ice-cream. For first first half of the walk, I was still recalibrating, and at one moment almost decided to ask her for a hug, to make myself emotionally understand that it was indeed someone else. But I thought better of it, because I'd have to explain myself, and it seemed like an awkward and weird topic to discuss, yet again. And the feeling left, and we had a really (really) nice time, and we laid in the grass on the way back afterwards and shared conversation and beautiful eye contact.