The Larger Topics

E.g., to recognize and discuss with Julia:

• That I seriously messed up with my thesis, and feel really defeated by the whole situation. Sometimes I have to cry out loud, but more often it's just a latent gnawing feeling of incompetence.

• What I would want to have, in better circumstances, later. I want to play the piano, have a piano, and have some friends that I can share musical inspiration with and with which I can play. Much the same as with Cyril, but then that they can play with feeling, and of course other instruments than the piano: a contrabass, ideally. I want certain living arrangements with Julia that would fit me better, demand some 'space' of my own, as it were. To be free from daily / constant worry that I might be messing up our relationship by not being responsive or communicative. To feel generally appreciated, and maybe a bit admired, in my surroundings, to be good at something. To feel certain about myself.